You cannot force your
children, or your siblings or anybody else to get married to people whom you
think is good.
Same goes in opposite direction; you cannot force your parents
to accept who ever chooses. If they are not comfortable with your choice then
you must also be ready to accept that and choose if the relationship is still
worth it.
How can they live
happily if their very basic freedom in choice of lifelong mate is taken away
from them?
How about taking away the basic freedom of being part of such a
big decision . 25
Year of dreams…hopes
..savings…and if u cant show the courtesy to atleast talk to em before eloping….!!!
They waited for the
parents to do something.
The worst fear when we are about to ask for something is the
fear of rejection…u frgot the whole set of moments before one finally proposes
!! we still get to propose cause we know for sure that the other person is
worth it..we still go ahead because we have some hope that they will not slap
us in the face…
And we expect our parent to go to some strangers parents not
sure wat kind of a welcome to expect..not sure wat kind of people they are..!!!
I would always say never drag the parents into all of this.. it was your
choice..your decision..soo don’t stand back and tell ur parents to take care of
it..u talk to ur parents.. u talk to her parents.. u talk to the whole uncle
aunty neighbours neighbor lot.. cause u knw its worth it cause it is ur choice
and hence it is ur responsibility.
Now u must be wanting to scream at me ..wanting to tell me ..”Achu
!! WTF u married the girl u loved that too inter religion and all that crap..”
and my answer will be..”ofcourse I did..but I never forced my parents or her
parents to accept us.. we told them our choice..and gave them time to make
their choice if they want to be part of our choice…
Its easy to be 25 and judging people who are 60 dear…we don’t give
a fck abt the society cause we don’t have to..we are not living in kerala..we
are independent … not them…they are old … they don’t have us around .. they only
have the so called society.. they know death is around the corner… the courage
that one had withers away….
I always tell myself…They are our parents..who am I to judge
them..I will be with them love em to my best and hope they are happy..… they
deserve it J
My lead is here…
I wld love to have a long talk with you on this some time…
J
Only two sentences for you from a poem I love.
ReplyDelete"If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools."
I don't think you really got the essence of the post. Achu. I don't wish to fight with you about anything. If you come with an open mind, maybe, we can have a good discussion. The thing is we beleive in the same things, but the difference is I beleive than one can be in between too, not just one end or the other.
Deeply dissapointed.
a good fight is any day better than a polite discussion...:)
ReplyDeletethe essence of the post is the frustration the we get when our parents , society all push us, tell us stuff like "He will learn to be happy.." I can totally relate to it...
But I can never accept anyone forcing the other to accept their views..In that way the parents telling you to accept who you should marry is same as you telling your parents to accept who ever you choose to marry...
You make your choice on whom to marry, Let them make their choice on wheather they want o accpet or not..
I agree with you totally. No one should force anybody else. What about the post made you feel one is forcing ones parents .Who said they donot have that choice? In fact i think atleast in normal middle class society they always exercise that choice.
ReplyDeleteIt was just a counter argument.If somebody has an argument why cannot one have a counter argument. Just becasue i counter argue doesnot mean that I hate them , or I judge them or i think they should accept everything I say or i want them to be mere puppets. this is going to the other extreme. "if you are not with us, youa re against us" silly dont you think.
As far as fights are concerned --- to each his own :)
10 20 vattom nyan ividea vannitundennu thonunnu. I have a serious blog addiction problem!!!!!
ReplyDelete:) one thing u will learn about me is I love getting under the skin of people... My way of checking if they do have anything solid underneath :)Loved this argument...which means u be seeing lot more of em :D
ReplyDeleteThe "deeply disappointed " comment almost made me pictorise you as my class teacher with thick glasses and a cane shaking your head while saying it :D:D
a marriage like like any other relation will be filled with challenges...and people who together cannot over come them must not get married.
We dont have a choice in case of arranged marriages cause we have no clue what shit we are getting into..
so atleast in love marriages lets have that option, I say sort of a litmus test..if the guy or girl doesnt have the guts to stand up to all that pressure then whats the point..:)
Just seen too many divorces man.. love arranged newly wed with kids with kids my age...
Soo I still say what i said in the begining if they cant survive this let em not get married... let em 'learn to love' or 'adjust' or... cause they didnt have what was needed to stand up for the one person who chose to be with them for ever...
What makes you think i will be entertaining such arguments henceforth???? :)
DeleteI like discussions, and debates but only if they make sense. If I am talking about oranges and if you are replying about apples, then you are bound to lose your credibility.
We are not talking about whether people should or shouldn't get married. It is about what arguments are presented when such a situation arises and whether these kind of arguments make sense.
It is good that you want to know what's underneath the skin, but my dear boy others are equally perceptive. While you are trying to find out about others maybe you are revealing too much about yourself? What makes you think that I may still be interested in knowing you as much as I was before???
Spot on about imagining me as a teacher by the way. But not with the glasses. I am the no nonsense one with the attitude ;)
And what makes u thing i worry if you are interested in knowing me or not...
ReplyDeleteand if you cant entertain arguments then i think i better stop following you blog..cause any one who cant entertain arguments is ...
and i questioned..u brought in the hate part.. :)
ofcourse i know you wont worry. I have seen people enough. yours wish whether you want to follow or not. Obivously i have no opinion in that.
DeleteThe weird thing is I would not have talked this much , if you were not meenu's hubby you know. I would have said."Thanks for your point of you. Definitely , it goes without saying that both parties should be free to do whatever they want"....
DeleteI think i am begingint o understadn why people have anonymous blogs.