.....

The world around me as i know it is sleeping...
Tomorrow they all will wake up..
cursing their bosses, schools, colleges,..going on with the activities that they have summed up as life...

People my age have started talkin like they are retired or dead....
about getting houses, about having kids.. about a zillion things other than what i will call life...

Now when i say life i am yet to decide who i will be living my life as...
if its going to be as me the Indian or me the Muslim or me the software engineer or me the revolutionary or me the insect or me the me....
Not sure...

All i know is every second of my life is deliberate.. its chosen by me....
it is definitely a function of the choices i have still i make the choice..

My amserdam, my outlander, my range rover, my lancer evo... my horse riding my para gliding...
I will do each of those things unless my life gets snatched away from me...
and even if i die...
i know i am nt going to an eternal life,,
i know each and every fragment of me will still be in this world..... living...nt limited what a single human existence can achieve..not limited by my own imagination...nt limited by anything..

Cause as i always say..
its ur life if u dont live it who else will...

:)

--Achu

Jatatavigalajjala pravahapavitasthale
Galeavalambya lambitam bhujangatungamalikam
Damad damad damad damad ninadavadamarvayam
Chakara chandtandavam tanotu nah shivah shivam

Why the flys fuck does it matter....

What is it that haunts me...

Why is it that i still get sleepless nights

Why is it that a cigarette talks to me better than any friend of mine does..

Why is it that whisky calls to me....

Why do I have to write down my thoughts here ...

Why do I have to know who I am...

Why do I have to know the consequences of my actions..

Why do i have to know if my thoughts are good or evil..

What flys fuck difference will it make...

Even if it does make a huge difference..

Lets say the future of the world depends on a;; of those things…

Is it worth it..

No fucking way…

If the world ends in a blink.. So be it...

Blink..

Shit we are all still here....

nah I am not against life or relations or values..

Just that at times i feel its sooo over valued...

Its all become soo fragile...

People who are afraid to question their very basic believes ..what future can await them...

People who cling on to their pa..what glories of future wil welcome them !

I pity those around me who

need the familiarity of places around them to breath..

For whom the very thought of change radical or minute is as pain full as the shrieking sound of steel on rock...

 I pity those people who need to believe that they and their family are basically good...

Who are afraid to test themselves...

Only those who have come victorious in the great agnipareeksha of our own self has the right to live..

rest all must perish..

rest all are just meant to be manure.

....

Well interview was shit...
Was tellin all i had told u so .. and that i always pick it up in the second interview ..
Was tellin myself how i never fail if i set my mind into it...

Tats when it clicked...
I never fail cause i only try to achieve whats possible to me.. I never streatch my abilities.. I never push the limits.. With out pushing them if i am in my confort zone i will definitely pass.. tat just shows how small my dreams are not how talented I am...

:)
Speakin of which just a thought that popped in...
When u say bein true to myself does it mean bein true to my instincts or to my brain...
just a thought...

....

hate t that i need to have  a title for each of my entries.. :)

the power of himan mind that is rhe only reason why death intrigues me...if only i could know that the trees the animals the dust the air around me could also think and choose to b free then it would be soomuch more easy to embrace death :) if only i could know that they too can choose, choose their actions even against what is good for them or what they want.. i could easily die and start my existence as a million other stuff... if only...

ithippo the only way in which i knw to be able to choose is to be a man..and that is the only glory i could figure out in the otherwise meaning less existance that we all so desperately cling on to..

back in bangalore... feels good.. feels like home..
i knw the moments my parents cease to live i will nolonger have any desire to go back to lerala.. nt that I dont love the place. just that its bests visited as a tourist in an ac bus :)

restarting my job hunt..lets c :)

yet another begining...

well i am back from the days when i reguarded people who wrote blogs as desperate people who wanted some one to really know who they are...
I am back from the i dont give a shit we are all organic shit mode...
just trying to capture the screams that i silence...
at times cause i am afraid who i will hurt..
at times cause i am afraid who will leave me..
at times cause its my scream.. just my scream and i dont want to share it with any one.. nt even the air i breath.. :)

venu maricha divasam thanee thudangam ennu vicharichu ...